? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
