I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
