Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
