So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
