nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
