i would punch a child for taco bell
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
