can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Randomize
