Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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