No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
