dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
