Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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