i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
