Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
