So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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