you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
