I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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