the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
