my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
