She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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