soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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