You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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