So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
