even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
