New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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