he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
