I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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