Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
