I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
