Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
