Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
