she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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