You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
