I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
