yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
