What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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