I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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