we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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