i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
