4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Ketchup is God's man juice
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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