this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
