last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
