My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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