Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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