i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
