ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
So vagazzling was a success
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