so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm both gender and math confused
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize