Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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