somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
