if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
