So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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