the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
