So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
