Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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