I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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