We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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