You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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