and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
