i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
