She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
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Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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