I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
