Screwed.edu
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
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