i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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