i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
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