Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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