We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
