I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
